Okay so Final season is raping my face.

I hate having to study, but I will have to get into this sort of vibe if I want to be a successful doctor! My poor mind is being completely and utterly beaten to a meaningless pulp by the endless amount of slides we were assigned. Tomorrow morning is an early bus ride to the dreadful final and then it will be over for the next year! I'm so glad, but I am so stressed out! I just broke up with my boyfriend (dec 4) and that kinda bugs me a lot... I mean I kinda liked the guy! Now I have no excuse for these other guys that have wanted to date me forever! I mean we were still friends, but I always knew they wanted more and now I still want to be friends. I'm not sure how this is going to work... I think this new guy that I met has a mega rank crush on me because all he does is compliment me and sometimes I think its fairly awkward. AGGHH! I think I should get over myself. My ex and I are still friends, but apparently that never works out in the end... I really want to be more than friends with him, but I don't know really why or if I should? Probably not. We are going to hang out after Finals are finished and I'm not gonna lie, I am very nervous!

Either way, very confused, need to get finals done, want to feel better about this.

PEACE

I figured I should make a post birthday blog...

This year this birthday was amazing! I just turned into a legal adult which is pretty awesome because I did everything that you can do at this age except vote and buy a weapon, but I'm sure those will follow very shortly. I got plenty of gifts from sexy ass people which was superb and lovely, also I got a bunch of happy birthdays! I mean people I never talk too took the time out of their day to wish me a happy birthday! I got 23 birthday wishes on facebook alone, not to mention the bunches of text messages I got, really I feel the love!
I'm very happy with how this day ended up going. I went to a porn shop for the first time which was quite shocking and the owner was quite scary. That man will haunt my dreams. Also I bought smokes for the first time which was fairly exciting, I cannot wait until I am able to buy alcohol for the first time! This was such a great brithday!

So I'm not sure whats happened in the past couple of weeks...

Halloween, getting asked out, playing video games (In the weird way), work, and school. that seems like a whole lot in such a little time!
I think I will start with Halloween, which turned out to be a great time! I found out what I get super drunk off of: Cigars. Its pretty ridiculous, but I think I become more intoxicated when I smoke rather then when I drink! Either way I ended up talking to my next door neighbor Chad who I always "creeped" on throughout high school, but it wasn't like that at all! I was trying to be friendly, but I guess I don't come off in that way. I was dressed up like a cop, but throughout the night I became more naked which was fairly awkward because my boyfriend ended up actually coming to this party which pretty much made my day. Everyone was so toasted it was ridiculous! My friend ended up punching me in the face because she needed to take out so rage and it ended up happening on my face. Ouch.
A couple of weeks prior I was asked out again by this one guy who just doesn't understand that I cannot date him! Its messed up. Also people playing with me via xbox have become in love with me as well which is very stupid because they never have met/seen me. I don't understand boys at all.
Which brings me to another point, my boyfriend came over the other night because he was at the bar, so I let him in for like a cuddle and sleep. This worked out well because prior to his request I was huddling in the corner of my bed with plenty of blankets and was still managing to become a human Popsicle. He came inside and he was so wasted which was quite shocking because I have never seen him like that before. We sat on my bed for about an hour and were dozing off right when he jumped up, ran to the bathroom and pretty much vomited the entire contents of his stomach in the poor toilet. He came back and sat right next to me acting more sober than before which made me feel better and then he grabbed me and said "You seriously are the best girlfriend!" then he slouched over and we fell back asleep before the puking cycle began... the poor guy, but he did do it to himself! On the last time he puked I came into the room, but the past times I sat outside the door and talked to him, but this time I went inside and told him to not worry because he was having some trouble with life so I walked closer to him (at this point he was sitting on the toilet not leaning over it) then he just grabbed me and hugged me and it was so weird. I don't even know why though, It felt like one of those cinematic moments where it should have been filmed or was in a movie somewhere. He sat there hugging me and I ended up hugging him back and we stood/sat there for a good 10-15 min. Then he went to the couch because he refused to keep me up and I went to my room and slept. It was nice because in the morning 7ish he climbed into bed with me which was really sweet because he just sat making sure I wouldn't wake up, but yeah that was really cozy. He also kicked me out of bed though so I have to murder him!
Anyways that is enough about him! I wish I could bring him up more in normal conversation, but I always think ill be teased or harassed or I just can tell what we do/how much fun I have! Ugh either way I wish I could see him more often!
So the other night I went to this movie called Paranormal Activity which was super weird and kinda fun at the same time, I guess I was also in the fetal position the entire time because my bravery gene is wimpy. The movie was okay I guess, but afterward we found two people with a Ouija Board which doesn't work! Its so lame! Now I own one and I don't know what to do with it.... It was a good night overall though! I got to spend some time with my sex!
So the other night I was hanging out with my sex again and we went on a weird adventure! we saw so many cool places and I still have more, so I cannot wait until the next time we can do that again! The other night though, We got mooned twice (By people in cars, one of the guys had a stupidly hairy ass), I got elbowed in the the nose, and we went to a westside shindigg. weird huh?
Either way I'm super tired and I think I will die fairly soon because no sleep makes jack and dull boy.

HAIRCUT TOMORROW!

Enjoy pillow deathmatch

It's really funny how people work.

One minute they are beating you up or calling you names and next they are sobbing about the fact that they just humiliated you and completely shot your confidence. I figure myself one of the ragdolls that are abused on a regular occasion, but I find myself getting used to the fact that people pick on me and call me names. Then again is that a good choice? I really don't find it enjoyable in the least bit because people are starting to think that I am stronger than I am, which in fact I am not even close to their projection of me. I've spent this whole weekend being verbally, and sometimes physically attacked! I don't even know what I do to deserve it because, to tell you the truth, I have been nothing but nice all week! I think my optimistic attitude has taken a toll on my poor travel buddies. Either way I have 2 more weeks of this nonsense and I think I will go back to my regular nice old people-who-try-not-to-pick-on-me friends.
School for sure is going to kick my behind because I still need to read so much, but with these new terrible mood swings I find it harder and harder to concentrate.
WHY did this have to happen now?! WHY! I wanted a nice two weeks alone with people, but then, of course, it has to be fucked up somehow! I really hate how things turn out.
Well New York city was gorgeous! especially the upper part were Central Park is!
I love New York city, but I wish my mind was clearer. recently I have not been able to think as I would normally.. Its really bothersome especially when I try and act like myself, maybe it is because I'm changing, but that would be strange really.

AHH why did I tell him that?!?!? What the hell is wrong with me!? I mean i know hes my BF but whatever possessed me to do that??? does this mean I don't trust him!? gahh I'm way to complicated...

I totally forgot that I posted something earlier!

Odd, I seriously thought it had been more than a couple of months. Lots of stuff has happened since then and its all been (Fairly) decent! Well I officially have my first boyfriend (well one I would like to consider my first even though my past is kinda dumb) Anyways I am having lots of fun being in this relationship, but I guess there was a rough patch before we actually got together. Its all good now! Before that I got asked out by two other guys (During the rough patch when we were not together) which was strange and not expected at all!
So Horrid Incidences is doing well, Don and I have lots of songs written which is really awesome, but i wish I could remember most of the music that I made! Its Driving me crazy because I cannot remember what I wrote!
Oh I've also decided that I want to go into medicine because I think it would be the best choice, lots of biology and even more body functions! I want to study the heart (cardiologist)

Keep on rockin in the free world

I have hookers to beat up and credit cards to steal!

Okay, so I am seeing one of them.

I don't know why though its really weird. I wish I could talk to someone about this, but I don't think I can which is not fun, I kinda wish Eric was in town; I feel really comfortable with him. Well either way I guess I will be speaking with the guy I'm seeing in a couple of minutes, but I absolutely hate being serious with guys it makes me feel like a bitch. How do girls do it? At least this whole experience has helped me understand guys more? At its peak my guy count was at 11! isn't that insane?! Holy cow. I wonder if they liked me to be their girlfriend or just some booty call? I don't actually know and I don't think I ever will!

Either way, enough about boys! Lets talk about motorcycles, I am going to be taught how to this Thursday, I really don't think I have ever been more excited!
Also I my mother just left a couple days ago to NY and left my brothers and I in charge of her house, which worries me because my brothers are brainless kids!
This arrangement for my wrists is terribly uncomfortable and I wish now that I could write more, or at least with more creativity it seems so bland and cardboard-like. I guess this whole desk-cutting-into-wrists kinda destroys the whole "writing excitment" I usually have going on.

"She don't need nobody to be her man!" -RBF

I figured that should be posted due to the circumstances of my life and all my "man-ventures" which sounds quite horrendous and whorish, but luckily enough I'm not. Hilarious stories have come from everything that I have been doing this past couple of weeks especially with guys surprisingly enough, I mean usually I have no luck with them, but all of a sudden I have eight! I cannot explain what happened and I don't think I really want to know because this is completely uncharted territory in my books. Its kinda fun just winging in! Either way I think I am kinda dating one of them, his name is Tom, but I'm not sure If I want too, either way its quite confusing. The names are also really messed up and kinda hilarious, they are Tom, Alex, Eric, Montana, Jon, Jay, Jordan, and Emory. I think that is a lot to handle for the first time in all this junk. Its kinda funny though because I've been so busy so I kinda have to ignore some of them which makes me feel bad, but at the same time its not my fault! At least I have not done anything bad to hurt these guys, I've only kissed one....
Finals are rolling around the corner.
I am very unprepared for these especially because I have so many other projects and exams to do. For example, this week I had an essay, 3 exams (2 chemistry, 1 bio), 1 project and its only the beginning of the week! I also have been working more than I usually do, this weekend I worked both nights (Sat, Sun) till close which sucked so hard because then I didn't have time for homework! This has been quite the week! I was called into work tonight actually because my friend could not close by herself because it was rank busy and she was with a newbie so I had to go in for about an hour. Wasn't too bad, I made some sweet easy money! I feel really bad because after I helped out she said she "owes me a favor" which kinda made me pissed because I did it just to help out, I would never ask for something in return for that! I mean its just helping out a friend and should not be "repaid". Ridiculous!
So my life is crazy hectic and on top of that all I have to move into my fathers house because my mother is moving to another area and will not be able to keep the cats and I refuse to leave my cat behind. So I have to move to another house and completely uproot my life and especially during finals! I'm seriously surprised I'm still standing/ alive... I really need another break this is way too much way too fast. Next year I am going into University and I still need to get my drivers license. I'll take everything down one at a time!

"But I know what I like!"

Ciao!

Italy is wonderful! Except the language, but I'm guessing my bitterness for the language is because I cannot speak it. Either way its beautiful here even though I am stuck in the outskirts of this one city called Trieste and its kinda lame, but I guess I can handle it.. only 2 more days of it... well technically 1 1/2. Tomorrow I am visiting some castles and a roman collaseuim Which is gonna be great! I'm just nervous about being all tourist like because personally tourists are kinda lamers.

Missing home quite a bit and I cannot wait to get home and eat at LEAST 2 veggie burgers, they are gonna be so delicious! And of course fountain iced tea!!!

I don't get to eat much here because it is all meat based which sucks so bad so I end up having to eat really crappy food and then I get sick and cannot move. Its no my sweet walrus lets just say.

Anyways just wanted to check in because my bed is calling me from the 5 floors that sperate us at the moment.

PEACE!

This sucks.

I hate how everything turns out! Really it always finds a way to be horrible no matter what! I wish for once things would just fall into place. Sometimes I think I complain way to much too, but I things are just so INFURIATING!
And I think this is obviously about guys... It always seems to be the case. Anyways its story time!
So that guy "K" keeps on coming over to my house, although this week he has kinda slowed down, but I still see him at school but why does he come to my house and bring his girlfriend.... and then "J" just makes me feel bad about doing stuff that I like doing such as drinking and junk and I feel bad about it. That's just the normal guys! So there are three guys that I am interested in, which sucks so bad its unreal! Okay so the other day my brother had a party and his 2 friends came over Named Eric and Kelly and they both have been texting me and stuff so I've been doing this back and well my older brother does not want me to date either of them, but I like this other guy who has a girlfriend so it sucks and the next guy I like lives outside the city ("E") and then this other guy "Kel" lives inside the city and invited me to this show tomorrow night, but I told him I was working till 10 ish and wow we are going out for coffee after the pink floyd cover band show. WOW. Although he is really nice and we can talk quite a bit, but he reminds me of my brothers! AUGHHGH!

I am also going to Italy in a week...
and I havn't been able to hang out with my sex in forever....

I'm going to explode...

At least I finished all my exams, but I still have an exam to write.

So fondue night was a success...

Although now I feel like I'm gonna throw up. I went to Neil Young last night and it was the best concert ever! Neil is hardcore and has not aged a day. Either way the concert was on 420 so there were so many people smoking pot and my buddy and I both think we got a little bit high from just standing in the pit; well actually that's what I think, but holy it was intense! We got offered 5 joints and a peice of gum and where called "Ladies" twice: once by a woman and the other by a guy.
Seriously a great concert I am so happy I was invited!

okay so I think it's story time!

So I had a little get together at my homestead and people came and we all kinda partied hard so we were all under the influence (mostly me, I feel bad about it now) anyways late at night a handful of us decided to go out long boarding so we went to 7-11. After that though we decided to walk down this one main street and it was about 5 in the morning so there were no car (perfect for long boarding) so there is this crazy huge drop off this one bridge so I decided I would go down it and hopefully not injure myself even though early in the week I fell off my long board and screwed up my foot so I couldn't really move fast or really at all. So for the majority of the trip I was holding the backpack of a person. So I was injured and already intoxicated and I decided this hill would be a great ride so I went down, but it ended badly, but not only for me but for one of the ladies that decided to follow me down the death hill. Anyway, I jumped off my board kind of in time so I only hurt my ankles more, but the lady I was with she fell and completely smashed the pavement with her face. Now she is all black and blue and we are going to the doctors tomorrow (I know a little late) and are getting X-rays on her face.
Either way that was such a dumb idea although it was really fun! I love late night long boarding!

Okay another weird story my sex and I were invited to this guys house by this other guy that I don't really like, but tolerate. Anyways we are going, but we are going to be intoxicated again, yes I know we are horrible and this sounds bad, but we really don't get drunk every weekend, its just last week was spring break and I only got drunk twice and this weekend I am, but after that I'm probably taking a break.
Its gonna be awkward.

I am also helping this dude with this PowerPoint presentation so I have to wake up early in the morning so that kinda bites the big one. At least hes nice and kind? His presentation is on Capital punishment and his slide show look s super sexy because of yours truly, and yes I am full of myself!

So I've changed!

I feel kinda special, but still its weird to know that I acted "different" because I still don't think I was. I don't really care I am just happy that we are together again which is kinda sick and weird, but it is nice to be with him. I was listening to "Boys don't cry" by the Cure this morning and it reminded me about how I feel about that son of a gun! Messed isn't it?
Either way we are back together and are going to grad together and to tell you the truth, I wouldn't have it any other way! A couple days ago I bought myself a new long board and it is the most gorgeous thing in the world! I've been riding it all the time and playing on it and just today both of mah buddies bought brand new ones as well. I cannot wait for tomorrow because I am riding mine to school and fiddling around with it. The only crappy thing about this plan is that I have to work from 5-close and that's terrible because that means less riding time, but I do get to hang out at Zellers right after work which will be hilarious!

Either way stuff be wacked.

Horrid Incidences had 1 more song finished and its called "The Situation Room" and it sounds pretty nice for once. H.I. is back making super awesome music for a very long time!

The board is MINE SEXXXY

For the past couple of days I've been thinking...

I know its dangerous, but every once in awhile on my way to school certain memories will pop into my head when It was just him and I. He was complaining that I never spent any time with him, but during these walks I could name certain instances when we were alone together. I mean I have fun and junk like that, but well it feels terrible because he doesn't really want me to be myself around him, well personally since we have had that long, depressing conversation I think I've changed, but I'm not sure if its good or bad.

I can't really remember what I have been doing for the past little while even though I feel super happy? I don't get it. I hate being confused!

I made my one "friend" super pissed today. Well first of all his best friend canceled on him because he was called into work for the day therefore no brunch was had and apparently they had reservations. Anyways we had plans too which I really did not want to follow through with so I woke up around 1:30 p.m. because my dad asked me too and anyways he asked me to call him when I woke up, I didn't call till around 2:30 p.m. because my friend called me into work for her and I said yes because I need money because I want to buy a Vespa and go to university! Anyways after being called in I called this dude back and said the worst thing I possible could: "Oh, sorry I've been called into work, I'll have to cancel. Hah yeah ITS funny cause' both of us were called into work!" *click*

He's pissed!

But its so funny cause' its him! Either way he got splashed so hardcore yesterday by this car which was the best moment in my life!

Man I have too much fun! School is the best part of my week I swear, i seriously love going to school its just so much fun.... its twisted

P.S. Savage Garden is the best!

I hate when people give you that "I'm sorry" look

Its quite annoying and makes you feel like you should be upset or something. I really hope I never give that look, but maybe there is something I should be upset about? Well I don't think so the past is the past and whatever is there is there for a reason.

I feel super guilty about doing something to this one guy even though I shouldn't especially with the previous nights discussion. His name is Geoff and well I mean he is the worst human being I have ever met and was cruel and untrustworthy. Although when I'm just sitting here I feel terrible for what I am doing to him which is ignoring him completely. Well I mean I have been trying to do so, but its kinda hard either way I have him away for at least two weeks. I hate him so much but cannot help feel sorry for him, at least him and his man-toy have made up so I cannot feel as bad. Just listening to what the girls say about him and what hes done is just grotesque especially what hes done to me and the things I have revolted with; its quite pathetic.

Anyways I survived school yesterday and had a lot of fun doing it! I though it was gonna be really bad and stuff, but it turned out to be pretty good!

And YES I DO have to study for exams and the only reason why I know everything I do is because I listen in class and I have a crazy learning habit where whatever I hear I can remember! Well at least MOST of it! SO I am not NATURALLY SMART I JUST HAVE A WEIRD WAY OF THINKING!!!!!!!!!
gosh hahaha

P.S. I found the best angry song, its called "I don't give a Fuck" by peaches its so great!

Its really sad when you see that little heart on facebook say someone's ended their relationship.

Strange to think how the whole thing sort of happened or why it did in the first place and which parties are feeling the hurt.
I saw these two the other day, but I knew the outcome from the very start because I was let in on the secret of the year and I felt bad seeing them both just being together. I think it was a cruel trick because when you do that to someone its just completely unfair and unjust especially if it was seriously pre-meditated. It kinda makes me sick when I think about it too much. I hate also knowing what happened, or at least guessing to the point of knowing, it makes me not want to go to school tomorrow and see this person. I know what she did, but something good did come out of it.

Either way school is gonna suck so hard tomorrow its not even the least bit funny and I hate how this stuff always works out, it makes me wonder why I always get myself into these situations and I can remember writing these words before. Why don't I ever do anything about this! You think a girl would learn.... Either way I shouldn't think about such things so often.

Today was an awesome day, I got to go home early and I also got to hang out with my sex and run around the city and harass people, Like wally world, Tim Hortons, and, of course, Indigo were I put creepy sayings on all of the computers. Either way I always have a blast with that one! Takes me quite some time to get comfy with people, but I do believe I have.

I don't like the whole drug scene actually, the other day I was with some other people and they all smoked from a hooka and just looking at all of them made me realize how pathetic that life is and how easily you can get sucked into is. I think this experiance was good although quite gross and the most uncomfortable I've ever been. Also I got to drive in a car when the driver was stoned to hell and back which also made me shiver with terror (I figured out that I litereally shiver when I am nervous or cannot say something).

I know who I want to be with for a long time and who I only have a passing friendship with I just don't know how to deal with all of this added stress and I wish I had a map for this sort of stuff. Its kinda like a trap, you're lured in by something fancy and amazing, but once you are inside its like a whole different world in which you wish you were never drawn in but kept a safe distance like the others.

Its really crappy when you notice this.

Either way I think whenever you do soemthing you should ALWAYS take a second look and decide if its really worth it.
Like another situation of mine which is funny becasue it is kinda the same people, but anyways.... I think that the weirdest feeling in the world is being used for your younger brother. Its so strange because I don't know what to do with that either because evertime I see this person I feel unintentionally cold and mean which is quite bothersome because it leaves me in a sour mood for the rest of the day. I mean I love my little brother, but I dont think that they should have to go through me, its really just torture on my side. I'm pretty sure in genereal all of my friends love my littler brother more than me because he is very "cool" and nice and I love o have him around me because I like him, but hes more of a charmer than I am. I love my brother because no matter how popular he is with my friends he will still come after me if I leave the room or if I ask a favour or however mean I am he still asks me to play games with him. He is seriously my favorite person in the whole world because I know no matter what I can or will do to him he will still be right there behind me waiting for me. No matter what happens.

"Cant remeber a time when she felt needed"
-savage garden


Life is strange, but wonderful in time.

gahhh I am nto drinking/smoking for two weeks...

Well the smoking part not for a LONG time, but the drinking part well I mean its gonna be St. Patricks day!

This weekend was so hardcore I swear. Both nights this weekend I drank and smoked (weed) and for the first time ever a Cuban cigar! Seriously this was the weekend to try shit out! Either way I mean next weekend Imma take it easy because I am going snowboarding on Sunday morning and stuff. either way I love smoking pot, really its quite nice and the after effects are not as bad as alcohol and also you don't gain weight because alcohol has a butt load of calories.
So I had lots and lots of fun, but Monday has come way to fast.
I was drunk still from the previous night at work today (I felt really guilty because I was kinda useless, but better than Bri) which turned out to be alright becaseu I had some really cool people watching my back.
I hate the sun.

This break has been intense.

No lies.

So intense that I almost exploded.

Either way it was super fun and kinda really worth it! Okay so the first parts of it were kinda lame because I was working pretty much every day. After that work long hump I started hanging out with people and junk which was really sweet. The first day of chilling and junk was nice I went to Divine and bought a poncho which is the best thing I have ever worn in my life, its super comfy and pretty and I bought these other clothes which are kinda sweet, but easily not as good.

So after this whole shopping escapade which was nice we came back to my place to chill and junk and ordered some pizza, but it was really quite amusing because they could not get our pizza right to save their lives. So we got a free pizza (although it was wrong) it was quite delicious, but personally pineapple and pizza just do not mix, its like chocolate and tea, very VERY Wrong.

"I can't wait for you to shut me up"
-Shut me up (Original Version)

That song is super awesome... and should be found and listening to many times over and over again. Just to let you know.

Anyways so after this pizza thing we decided to go shopping again which was pure torture because I am completely in love with clothing and pretty much freak out about anything that looks pretty. This time when we went out I decided not to bring my debit card, which was excruciatingly painful. We ended up going to the mall and my buddy bought two shirts and two undershirts which look super awesome, I feel good because I picked one of them out! Anyways so we were leaving the mall around 9ish and I got a telephone call from my mother asking us to come and visit her at the house we are most likely going to be moving into and its haunted so we stayed with her for a bit and then she gave us some money for yum yums. When we got home we went right back to the off sale and bought some Smirnoff and went right back home. Oh Wait I totally have my nights mixed up. I should probably fix this.

Okay so this thing I was just describing is the second day of freedom. The first I just had some girlfriends over and we have some of the Vanilla Absolute I had and we all (except one of us) got piss drunk and fucked around all night which brings me to another point I have in this Blog. I figured I should remember this one because its so messed up. Either way I was taking care of (Nickname L) L in the bathroom because she decided she would go their so I followed becuase I felt bad because I pressured her into drinking as much as she did. Anyways She was lying on the floor of the bathroom and I bent over her to see if she was okay, but I looked at her and then I tried to get up but I could not because every time I would sit up I would get very dizzy. So I just ended up leaning over her and she started saying something and kissing my face and then sooner of later we just ended up making out on the bathroom floor. I know its super greasy, and I feel bad about it. I'm not a lesbian though because I could never imagine... well I'm just not and could never be one.
I was just super pleased that she was so cool about the whole thing! We both worked together the next day and had a sleepover the other night which is a whole other story that I will be telling very quickly, but before so I don't remember what I was going to say.

I hate Pineapple. Like I have this intense loathing for it

Either way I got drunk twice over the break which was super fun and totally worth it because I really had fun. Both Nights intense stuff happened although I am kinda repeating myself... I hate that there is school tomorrow and that I have to work at four, and I think that's too soon and then I have a chemistry exam Tuesday. At least I have some Sweet tunes.

Anyways about my days: they were fun the first night my older brother farted on my friend which was quite embarrassing and gross. I was so piss drunk and I could not figure out what was going on. I slept by my buddy's butt which was kinda weird, but I guess I got to sleep on a bed which was nice! Although I was really cold, but I bought this nice new poncho and it kept me warm which was nice.

I have decided that I will not write about my other night because It will take to long I've already written about it in my diary! I'm kinda happy I did that already because I am super lazy and I work tomorrow.

Haha Valentines day bust!

I think this is my very first back to back! I just wanted to say that Hes really not that into you was really good! It has some really sweet reasoning behind it which make sense and are really funny! Either way the horrific sarcastic humor was great.

anyways Another day another dollar (work was lame and slow) and I failed at halo too....DANG! Either way tomorrow will be better for work and for play! I plan on doing lots of stuff (after six of course)

"Life is like a box of chocolates"
- GUMP

I don't know why I just quoted Forrest Gump, but I just felt like it so leave it!

P.S. yes I do know that movies are underlined I felt like it would be cooler to make them BOLD instead (cooler, yes?)


You know what? I never made a blog about my first date! As horrendous as it was I still should have written something about it. I'm quite surprised at myself because I personally love to blog and make jokes about my own life, especially this whole "first Date" thing because that in itself was a joke! Maybe I should read a little more carefully before I write anything because I can quite carefully recall a certain instance were wrote down the date of my first date. Now that I think back on it its quite hilarious because I mean really, the guy was awesome, but the show he put on was very lame. Seriously (I'm going to be VERY disgusting for a moment) open mouthed kissing, or wait, choking me with his humongous tongue and no gag reflex on the first date!? first DATE?! I though that was kinda extreme because to tell you the truth, getting someones tongue shoved into your larynx when you are not expecting it makes you a little unhappy. I'm not sure to this day why I did not stop it. At least the movies and couches were nice?

Now that I think back on that whole incident, I ask myself: Why did I let him use my uvula as a boxing bag for his tongue? Once again I must comment on my amazing skill to be passive when needed. I still don't get why that boy has to eye fuck me in class, he should really mind his own business! (well I mean the eye-screwing is really non-sexual due to the fact that he is happily ina relationship)

This reminds me of a terrible story about English class and this boy since this is the only class we share together along with another boy. So this one boy we will call him Bryce and the Other boy We will call him K, anyways, Bryce and I decided to work together on an English project and the second we shoved our desks together a loud shout from K came saying "Oh look at the lovebirds". Lovebirds? Lovebirds?! Now this I do not get, so I diregarded the comment and with one sharp look in his direction I turned swiftly to the teacher. (Before trouble found me of course) So our class was moved into the library for the day and I decided to look for a book first, but to my mistake we were supposed to be on the computers. Lowe and behold the computers Bryce and I are sitting at have made some new friends, but of course on my side. So both groups (Bryce and I and K's) are sitting nect to each other with myself sitting RIGHT NEXT TO K. Which turns out to be the worst thing that could have happend! Every time I would make jokes or speak of something I prefered I would hear little whispers (sometimes not so graceful) from K's seat. Also every once in awhile a nice smashing on my keyboard or exiting of the program I was in with the nice "Alt f4" method. For an entire HOUR I had to put up with K's foolishness, but that made me realize that he is the MOST immature boy I have ever met and is not boyfriend material no matter which way you look at him. (Unless of course you are looking for a quick anger bang, then you are in luck!)

Ha - HA - HA - HA!

Charlene you make my life! Yes I am very scared of you and I cannot help it, you are way to conservative, but I do with I could talk to you easily. Oh well I think We will always have this awkwardness about our relationship, but seriously I prefer it.

So I told Mr. Friend guy about my apologies to this lady, but I still haven't told the one person I quite want to (But Secretly I think its for reaction) I need someone with somewhat human reactions to what I do. Either way I haven't been able to say what I want to so I am kinda getting bored and annoyed.

THAT'S ONE BIG PROBLEM!
This place is so boring I don't know what to do... I need something to happen or at least bring in a little excitement, besides the garbage I get everyday from the G man. SO I do think something has to go down soonish because my life is so dull. Especially during this break because I need more people around me because being alone with such conservative people all the time with boyfriends/girlfriends is just becoming so lame! At least at school I get to fuck around with people.

Either way I get to make over a guy and make him look handsome and pretty and hopefully datable because I remember I was once told that him and girls just do not mesh! He was going to date his best friend, but that ended in complete and utter failure, so I plan on changing that.

I have a Bottle of absolute and I don't know when to use it. JUST NEED SOMETHING I feel even lame writing this because I mean I really have nothing. Fuck.
I am having a St. patties day party which will be good! about thirty-two people will come which is nice oh yeah plus more....dang so Many....

I hope everyone had a lovely Valentines day!

Why don't guys have to be hardcore anymore? Its kinda lame to think of what women settle for these days? Messed.

But you've got me.

Another long time before I have written which is kinda bad because I like to write every once in awhile...its a tiny bit of a guilty pleasure although I hate the though of thinking what I write is being judged somewhere, I mean usually by me later of course.
Would it be sick if someone could talk to you and tell you everything you knew about yourself and was able to regurgitate everything you've ever wanted or kept as a secret even from yourself. I think that's pretty sick if you ever meet someone like that.

I was speaking with my friend the other day about certain problems and he was able to say everything I though and wanted to think, but it seems I've left all those beliefs behind and now agree with more deranged filthy ways. It was almost nauseating listening to him yell at me for not standing behind myself. Kinda wrong when you cannot back yourself up huh... I couldn't even tell him what I was thinking at the moments when I completely abandoned them and it make me sick to think that I cannot think for myself. MESSED UP! It felt almost like an elephant and mouse or parent and child...

I only have three classes this semester: bio, chem and English. Its quite nice and I don't like school in general so its nice to sleep in extra.

So speaking with my little brother today felt like a chore... He seems to be finding more peace with my friends rather than me. I'm pretty much obsolete now which is kinda awkward I feel a little bit hollow, or even like I've lost an arm. Maybe I cant help him anymore? Sometimes I think my friends like him more than me, which would be completely understandable since I've become unsociable because I don't feel like being around everyone who's paired off (which is pretty much everyone) and if I hang around the other people the couples seem to find us because they are bored with their own coupled schedule's... Man I think I'm way to harsh on couples, but really there are way to many... its pretty disturbing. Maybe I should just calm down and let them be? I should worry about myself, focus on homework and stuff... People don't really need me to have fun. I've totally been acting like a child its ridiculous.
I guess on a blog your supposed to voice your opinion so I just did, but I always regret it. I think while writing what I did I contemplated deleting it 3 or more times..... I know who will end up reading it and stuff....

Feels good.


Some nice time passing songs :

Your winter - Sister Hazel
As lovers go - Dashboard Confessions
Changes - Butterfly Boucher/ David Bowie

P.S. I watched this Anime called Ouran Highschool Host club which was fantastic! Episode 22 is the best...




HAHAHAHAHA :

Well they encourage your complete cooperation,
Send you roses when they think you need to smile.
I can't control myself because I don't know how,
And they love me for it honestly, I'll be here for a while.

So give them blood, blood, gallons of the stuff!
Give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough.
So give them blood, blood, blood.
Grab a glass because there's going to be a flood!

- BLOOD

Reminds me of Sunday Morning....

OKAY So I have not written in so long! So that means I have millions of pages to write!

Lets start H.I., we have attempted to create good-bye kitty and it failed miserably. I feel terrible about that, but I am sure that we will get right back on track and start over again! We have the verse and junk just not the rest aka the chorus and bridge. SO H.I. will be going very well and since we are beginning a semester we can work more on it!

Anyways I have finished the first semester and I cannot wait to continue onto the second, but I think I will trade Drama for general arts....I'm not sure though, but I really want too. Exams were fairly easy and I also got a job at booster juice which is super awesome and very fun. Quite preferable!

Okay so A Nice story, well a couple:

I want to get a tattoo with a dimatap bottle with the sXe rip 1991-2008. and then the other day I got so piss drunk which was what I was hoping to try and I did and now I know so it was weird I barely knew where i was so it was weird. I also hurt Erin and my mother, which i feel even worse about!

Anwyas after that just a couple days ago I tried Pot. Which was so messed up! I was in this car with erin, nat, anna, and geoff and well I smoked up!
So the whole story is that we wanted some weed and the only place to get it was Mr. Sisily pizza in the north end and we were at subway almost out of town. I asked nat if I could drive and she said yes! so I go to drive a car for quite some time to Mr. sisily's pizza place and then we got a gram and a half and when we got back to geoffs house nobody had a lighter or paper. So we ended up smoking with subway paper which didn't work because nat almost burt her eyebrows off...It was messed but when We did I got so fucked up! Everything was shirinking and I couldnt remember what I was doing!

and also I went to a party and laughed at everyone! I wan't wasted but i could laugh!