For the past couple of days I've been thinking...

I know its dangerous, but every once in awhile on my way to school certain memories will pop into my head when It was just him and I. He was complaining that I never spent any time with him, but during these walks I could name certain instances when we were alone together. I mean I have fun and junk like that, but well it feels terrible because he doesn't really want me to be myself around him, well personally since we have had that long, depressing conversation I think I've changed, but I'm not sure if its good or bad.

I can't really remember what I have been doing for the past little while even though I feel super happy? I don't get it. I hate being confused!

I made my one "friend" super pissed today. Well first of all his best friend canceled on him because he was called into work for the day therefore no brunch was had and apparently they had reservations. Anyways we had plans too which I really did not want to follow through with so I woke up around 1:30 p.m. because my dad asked me too and anyways he asked me to call him when I woke up, I didn't call till around 2:30 p.m. because my friend called me into work for her and I said yes because I need money because I want to buy a Vespa and go to university! Anyways after being called in I called this dude back and said the worst thing I possible could: "Oh, sorry I've been called into work, I'll have to cancel. Hah yeah ITS funny cause' both of us were called into work!" *click*

He's pissed!

But its so funny cause' its him! Either way he got splashed so hardcore yesterday by this car which was the best moment in my life!

Man I have too much fun! School is the best part of my week I swear, i seriously love going to school its just so much fun.... its twisted

P.S. Savage Garden is the best!

I hate when people give you that "I'm sorry" look

Its quite annoying and makes you feel like you should be upset or something. I really hope I never give that look, but maybe there is something I should be upset about? Well I don't think so the past is the past and whatever is there is there for a reason.

I feel super guilty about doing something to this one guy even though I shouldn't especially with the previous nights discussion. His name is Geoff and well I mean he is the worst human being I have ever met and was cruel and untrustworthy. Although when I'm just sitting here I feel terrible for what I am doing to him which is ignoring him completely. Well I mean I have been trying to do so, but its kinda hard either way I have him away for at least two weeks. I hate him so much but cannot help feel sorry for him, at least him and his man-toy have made up so I cannot feel as bad. Just listening to what the girls say about him and what hes done is just grotesque especially what hes done to me and the things I have revolted with; its quite pathetic.

Anyways I survived school yesterday and had a lot of fun doing it! I though it was gonna be really bad and stuff, but it turned out to be pretty good!

And YES I DO have to study for exams and the only reason why I know everything I do is because I listen in class and I have a crazy learning habit where whatever I hear I can remember! Well at least MOST of it! SO I am not NATURALLY SMART I JUST HAVE A WEIRD WAY OF THINKING!!!!!!!!!
gosh hahaha

P.S. I found the best angry song, its called "I don't give a Fuck" by peaches its so great!

Its really sad when you see that little heart on facebook say someone's ended their relationship.

Strange to think how the whole thing sort of happened or why it did in the first place and which parties are feeling the hurt.
I saw these two the other day, but I knew the outcome from the very start because I was let in on the secret of the year and I felt bad seeing them both just being together. I think it was a cruel trick because when you do that to someone its just completely unfair and unjust especially if it was seriously pre-meditated. It kinda makes me sick when I think about it too much. I hate also knowing what happened, or at least guessing to the point of knowing, it makes me not want to go to school tomorrow and see this person. I know what she did, but something good did come out of it.

Either way school is gonna suck so hard tomorrow its not even the least bit funny and I hate how this stuff always works out, it makes me wonder why I always get myself into these situations and I can remember writing these words before. Why don't I ever do anything about this! You think a girl would learn.... Either way I shouldn't think about such things so often.

Today was an awesome day, I got to go home early and I also got to hang out with my sex and run around the city and harass people, Like wally world, Tim Hortons, and, of course, Indigo were I put creepy sayings on all of the computers. Either way I always have a blast with that one! Takes me quite some time to get comfy with people, but I do believe I have.

I don't like the whole drug scene actually, the other day I was with some other people and they all smoked from a hooka and just looking at all of them made me realize how pathetic that life is and how easily you can get sucked into is. I think this experiance was good although quite gross and the most uncomfortable I've ever been. Also I got to drive in a car when the driver was stoned to hell and back which also made me shiver with terror (I figured out that I litereally shiver when I am nervous or cannot say something).

I know who I want to be with for a long time and who I only have a passing friendship with I just don't know how to deal with all of this added stress and I wish I had a map for this sort of stuff. Its kinda like a trap, you're lured in by something fancy and amazing, but once you are inside its like a whole different world in which you wish you were never drawn in but kept a safe distance like the others.

Its really crappy when you notice this.

Either way I think whenever you do soemthing you should ALWAYS take a second look and decide if its really worth it.
Like another situation of mine which is funny becasue it is kinda the same people, but anyways.... I think that the weirdest feeling in the world is being used for your younger brother. Its so strange because I don't know what to do with that either because evertime I see this person I feel unintentionally cold and mean which is quite bothersome because it leaves me in a sour mood for the rest of the day. I mean I love my little brother, but I dont think that they should have to go through me, its really just torture on my side. I'm pretty sure in genereal all of my friends love my littler brother more than me because he is very "cool" and nice and I love o have him around me because I like him, but hes more of a charmer than I am. I love my brother because no matter how popular he is with my friends he will still come after me if I leave the room or if I ask a favour or however mean I am he still asks me to play games with him. He is seriously my favorite person in the whole world because I know no matter what I can or will do to him he will still be right there behind me waiting for me. No matter what happens.

"Cant remeber a time when she felt needed"
-savage garden


Life is strange, but wonderful in time.

gahhh I am nto drinking/smoking for two weeks...

Well the smoking part not for a LONG time, but the drinking part well I mean its gonna be St. Patricks day!

This weekend was so hardcore I swear. Both nights this weekend I drank and smoked (weed) and for the first time ever a Cuban cigar! Seriously this was the weekend to try shit out! Either way I mean next weekend Imma take it easy because I am going snowboarding on Sunday morning and stuff. either way I love smoking pot, really its quite nice and the after effects are not as bad as alcohol and also you don't gain weight because alcohol has a butt load of calories.
So I had lots and lots of fun, but Monday has come way to fast.
I was drunk still from the previous night at work today (I felt really guilty because I was kinda useless, but better than Bri) which turned out to be alright becaseu I had some really cool people watching my back.
I hate the sun.