But you've got me.

Another long time before I have written which is kinda bad because I like to write every once in awhile...its a tiny bit of a guilty pleasure although I hate the though of thinking what I write is being judged somewhere, I mean usually by me later of course.
Would it be sick if someone could talk to you and tell you everything you knew about yourself and was able to regurgitate everything you've ever wanted or kept as a secret even from yourself. I think that's pretty sick if you ever meet someone like that.

I was speaking with my friend the other day about certain problems and he was able to say everything I though and wanted to think, but it seems I've left all those beliefs behind and now agree with more deranged filthy ways. It was almost nauseating listening to him yell at me for not standing behind myself. Kinda wrong when you cannot back yourself up huh... I couldn't even tell him what I was thinking at the moments when I completely abandoned them and it make me sick to think that I cannot think for myself. MESSED UP! It felt almost like an elephant and mouse or parent and child...

I only have three classes this semester: bio, chem and English. Its quite nice and I don't like school in general so its nice to sleep in extra.

So speaking with my little brother today felt like a chore... He seems to be finding more peace with my friends rather than me. I'm pretty much obsolete now which is kinda awkward I feel a little bit hollow, or even like I've lost an arm. Maybe I cant help him anymore? Sometimes I think my friends like him more than me, which would be completely understandable since I've become unsociable because I don't feel like being around everyone who's paired off (which is pretty much everyone) and if I hang around the other people the couples seem to find us because they are bored with their own coupled schedule's... Man I think I'm way to harsh on couples, but really there are way to many... its pretty disturbing. Maybe I should just calm down and let them be? I should worry about myself, focus on homework and stuff... People don't really need me to have fun. I've totally been acting like a child its ridiculous.
I guess on a blog your supposed to voice your opinion so I just did, but I always regret it. I think while writing what I did I contemplated deleting it 3 or more times..... I know who will end up reading it and stuff....

Feels good.


Some nice time passing songs :

Your winter - Sister Hazel
As lovers go - Dashboard Confessions
Changes - Butterfly Boucher/ David Bowie

P.S. I watched this Anime called Ouran Highschool Host club which was fantastic! Episode 22 is the best...




HAHAHAHAHA :

Well they encourage your complete cooperation,
Send you roses when they think you need to smile.
I can't control myself because I don't know how,
And they love me for it honestly, I'll be here for a while.

So give them blood, blood, gallons of the stuff!
Give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough.
So give them blood, blood, blood.
Grab a glass because there's going to be a flood!

- BLOOD

Reminds me of Sunday Morning....