double date wow..

Seriously? That's just a huge kick in the teeth.... Fuck. This is just plain pudding really. I mean I think I deserve at least a little bit of RESPECT. I don't think I have even paced so much in my life. I don' t think I have ever felt this betrayed. Fuck it, I'll hold my fucking head high and fuck it all to shit so fuck high school, fuck this social situation and fuck everything and FUCK everyone.

I though I was being nice and charming, but apparently not I deserve to hear about everything FUCKING thing you do and say! I don't think you could MOVE and I would hear about it in the fucking news paper. It's not even sadness I just hate how I never get any warning or anything that would make me the least bit happy? There is nothing awesome to do or anything I want to do with this. I should have fucked this feeling a long time ago. WHY do people make me do these things!? WHY do I always Have to DO EVERY FUCKING THING!???? Why can't people just do things by themselves, I know how to handle myself, so why push something like this?!

I don't think I can handle this...Kinda out of my league... well why so hostile? Why so unpleasant and displeased? I can hear the questions already... I can feel the heart crushing words coming from everyone's mouths and expecting me to say or so something that will please them. THEM. Why never me?! I don't think I was born to make myself happy, more to make other people happy. I wish one person was built to make me happy. Just one.

too bad all those years of picking up lucky coins was worthless and juvenile. Useless. fuck...